filmsgraded.com:
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Grade: 33/100

Director: Dominic Sena
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Giovanni Ribisi, Angelina Jolie

What it's about. Set in Los Angeles. A blockbuster Hollywood action film that has an A-list cast, a by-the-numbers script, and a formula plot. Evil gangster Calitri (Christopher Eccleston) runs a large-scale stolen car ring. A customer wants Calitri to procure fifty particular valuable stolen cars within three days. Calitri needs help to fill the order. He kidnaps and threatens to kill screw-up car thief Kip (Giovanni Ribisi) in order to get Kip's brother Memphis (Nicolas Cage), an experienced car thief, to exit criminal retirement. Memphis must steal the fifty cars or Kip will be killed.

In real life, Memphis and Kip would go to the police, agree to testify against Calitri, and go into the witness protection program. Because there's no way he could steal all fifty cars in one night. And Calitri might kill Kip anyway.

But no, Memphis instead agrees to Calitri's mad demands. He rounds up the old gang, which includes his hottie, teasing girlfriend Sway (Angelina Jolie), crew boss Otto (Robert Duvall), mute tough guy The Sphinx (Vinnie Jones), and black tough guy Donny (Chi McBride).

Kip also brings in his car thief crew. These men, all of whom have their specialties and eccentricities, are Freb (James Duval), Tumbler (Scott Caan), and Toby (William Lee Scott). To make Memphis' already impossible task even more difficult, he has to steal the fifty cars while evading fearless tough guy black cop Castlebeck (Delroy Lindo) and his white sidekick cop Drycoff (Timothy Olyphant).

Memphis and his men are also pestered by a black car thief gang led by Johnnie B (Master P). They know of Calitri's big order and are jealous that they didn't get it.

This film is a remake of the cult low budget indie 1974 film with the same title.

How others will see it. The film tries hard to meet audience expectations. There are plenty of car crashes, car chases, and car thefts. There is plenty of gun waving, trash talking, and punch throwing. It is broadly telegraphed when we should be excited, and when we, the audience, should be laughing out loud. Such as during the subplot The Dog Who Ate The Keys, which involves walking him until he poops them out.

As expected, there is a final confrontation between Memphis, Calitri, and Castlebeck, which ends up in the only way possible to create a feel-good happy ending for all concerned. Except Calitri.

Some viewers may want to know if Jolie shows any substantial skin. The answer is no, but she flirts like crazy throughout. There are no other attractive women in the movie, at least with speaking lines.

It comes as no surprise that the imdb.com user ratings are highest among a particular demographic: Males under 18. Young males are the intended audience, and hopefully none is impressionable enough to attempt to duplicate such outlandish stunts as a hundred foot car jump over a traffic jam. No wonder the budget was ninety million dollars.

How I felt about it. The big names here are Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, and Robert Duvall. Since they had to know from a quick read of the script that the film was at best going to be mediocre, there was only one possible motive for making it. Money. But all three were presumably wealthy even before they made this movie.

Some actors, like Robert Redford, are known to accept roles in mediocre films like Up Close and Personal so that they could produce good films like The Horse Whisperer . But it appears that Cage, Jolie, and Duvall had no such redeeming motive. The best that can be said is that movies like Gone in Sixty Seconds keep Hollywood studios like Touchstone (a.k.a. Disney) in the black so that, somewhere down the line, it can produce a good movie, like High Fidelity (2000).


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